How can the church be loving to sinners while also protecting its purity?
This question came to me specifically in the context of someone that is in an active gay relationship that wants to be involved in the church. However, as we will see, the answer is the same for any person that is involved in intentional, public, unrepentant sin. So whether we are talking about a person that is actively involved in a relationship with someone of the same sex or someone that is actively living sinfully with someone of the opposite sex, the answer will be the same.
The next thing that we should remember is that followers of Jesus in the church are called to be loving toward people they like and don’t like. They are called to love their friends but they are also called to love their enemies. So whether a person is living a godly life or a godless life, God still calls the church to love them. There is never a time when Christians should be yelling hateful, condemning words at other people. It’s one thing to disagree and stand up for truth but it is an entirely different thing to through words at people (truthful or not) in an unloving way.
What does it mean to love someone in the church? It means treating them the same way that Jesus treated people. Jesus hung out with sinners, was compassionate to sinners, and helped sinners. He made them feel loved with “no-strings attached.” But let’s also not forget that Jesus had no problem speaking truth in love. He turned over tables and drove people out of the temple with a whip. He had hard conversations with people about spiritual matters. Someone straight up asked him how to be saved and Jesus’ answer was tough. Loving but tough. So while Jesus was loving, that “love” didn’t mean he approved of everyone’s behaviors.
We are called to do the same. Love people (all people), help people (all people), and be compassionate to people (again, all people). But like Jesus, loving people does not mean issuing a blanket acceptance of every person’s beliefs and actions. Sometimes true, godly love leads to tough conversations and standing up for truth.
I love my wife. But if one day she were to come home with a bag of drugs and tell me she wanted to start snorting it, I wouldn’t just accept her for who she was or what she felt was right. I would intervene and do whatever possible to lead her to repentance and not ruin her life.
One time when I was in eighth grade I went to Ocean City with my class. As my friends and I walked down the boardwalk, we saw a shop that was doing ear piercings. I really wanted to pierce one of my ears, but to do this, I needed my parents permission. So I put a quarter into the pay phone and dialed home. I asked them if they would let me get my right ear pierced. And do you know what they told me? No! The nerve, right? They clearly are unloving, right? Actually, no. They disagreed with my assessment of piercing my right ear as an eighth grader and spoke up about it.
Hopefully all of this should give you a starting point for dealing with people who come into the church. While no person is perfect, anyone in the church that comes in, actively pursuing a sinful lifestyle, or is in church and then starts pursuing a sinful life style, needs to be shown the truth. Will it upset some people? Absolutely. But it is more necessary to be truthful than to allow blatant sinful actions to be accepted.
1 Corinthians 5 is a great model to look at. Paul says that there were reports of people IN the church that were pursuing sexual immorality. I don’t think these were people visiting the church. These were likely longstanding members who got involved in these behaviors. And what did he do when these things came to light? He said to remove them from the church!
To me, the answer is very clear. Sin — any sin — should not be considered acceptable in the church. If a person is struggling with it but seeking to find freedom from it, then the church should support that person. But if a person is actively pursuing it (thereby rejecting any support to get the sin out of their life), then it must be addressed and dealt with. That is not unloving. That is deciding to love God, protect his church, and lovingly show the person in blatant sin that it can’t be tolerated.
In the next blog, I will address this question from the perspective of membership. Can a new person involved in blatant sin become a member of the church? Or can a longstanding member who gets involved in new blatant sin continue as a member? We will look at that next time.