Everyone is different, so I do not want to make a proclamation of, “this is how you should live!” But I do see a trend that worries me. Many people pack their lives with so many activities that they lose any margin. And when they lose margin, they lose an important opportunity to refuel.
I define margin as “space to allow your body and mind an opportunity to rest, grow, and think.” It is the opposite of rushing and busyness. Busyness is the opponent of margin. Busyness is when you are engaging in things that use up your body and mind. It is work, it is childcare, it is an appointment book.
Busyness is not necessarily bad. We all have to be busy at times. We all need to do work, whether it is driving to a job, going to school, or watching your children. The “bad” happens when busyness takes over your entire life. It is the unbalanced life. It is like dad sitting on one side of the seesaw and four year old junior sitting on the other. Junior is going to be stuck way up in the air because dad is so much heavier! When you give in to all busyness, you are like junior!
Let me give you a little inside look into pastoring. Even though Sunday is the busiest day by far, the rest of the week can be extremely busy – if I allow it. In a growing church there is never a moment when I say, “I just wish I had more work to do!” When I am not preparing sermons, I could be meeting with people, leading small groups, reconciling credit card statements, planning future events, creating job descriptions, and a million other things. Each little subcategory of the church – such as children’s ministry, small groups, worship ministry, administration, etc – all have a multitude of things I could be working on right at this moment. I don’t share this to get your pity because I love my job! We ALL have jobs that can keep us busy. I share this simply to say that, if I allow it, I can be consumed with busyness.
So in the midst of a busy job, I have to be intentional about add margin into my life. When the texts keep coming, the demands keep piling up, and the schedule is relentless, I have to be purposeful in saying, “Busyness will have to wait, I need a little time with margin.”
Margin gives me space to refuel. By Sunday night, after a weekend of church ministry and parenting, I am beat. So I intentionally try to give myself other times where I can have margin. My goal is to have at least a little space each day for me. Not to sit and selfishly ignore all my duties, but to refuel myself so that I can better engage in my duties later on.
In this margin, I do things that fuel my mind, rest my body, and allow me the chance to think. It will look different for each person, but some of the things I love to do during my times of margin are exercising while reading a good book (not related to my sermon preparation), read the Bible and pray, and pursue other hobbies like writing. I am currently reading a massive systematic theology book 15 minutes at a time. It will likely take me about 17 years to finish, but each day I come away with something new to think about for the day.
My wife and I try to find margin for our marriage. This is hard with four kids at home, but we try to spend a little time each day reading the Bible together and talking. Each week we will do something together (many times just at home while the kids are playing on their electronics). And once or twice a year we try to get away at a marriage or spiritual retreat to spend time together and grow spiritually together.
What you do in your margin will look different for you, but what is important is that you DO have margin. This isn’t just an “introvert” thing. If you allow it, busyness will take over your life. And when that happens, you will not have the ability to rest and grow. And while the busy seems important right at that moment, in the long term, giving yourself some margin is even more important.
This is something that even Jesus did. We read in the gospels that Jesus took time to get away. He went off to pray. He had times of solitude. He spent time with smaller amounts of people. He had meals with friends. Even when the entire world seemed to be following him, he took some time to rest. Can we all agree that if Jesus needed to, then perhaps we do as well?
Burnout happens from total busyness and no margin. Breakdowns happen from no margin. Heart attacks come out of no margin (among other things). Lack of spiritual growth happens from no margin.
Don’t let that be you. Set some margin in your life. Your mind and body will thank you in the long run.