Ask The Pastor – How Should I Address Those That Are Transgender?
This is a question that I came up with myself because I was asking this very question recently! The other day I read in an article that actress Ellen Page, who announced a few years back that she was gay, has now announced that she is transgender. She said that her preferred pronoun is “he” and would like to now be called Elliot Page. This, and many similar instances in our recent past, has raised the question, how do Christians respond to requests like this? In the name of respect and love, do we adhere to their requests? Or would doing so be agreeing with the idea that gender is a preference, which the Bible makes clear is not?
After some conversations with other pastors and listening to the thoughts of other more well-known folks like John Piper, Sam Allberry, James White, and JD Greear, I want to share the conclusion I came to.
I must preface this by saying the Bible makes it clear there are two genders: male and female. Genesis 1:27, “God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” Psalm 139 talks about how we are fearfully and wonderfully made. Nowhere in the Bible do we see any inkling of the idea that we can switch genders.
Having said that, I do feel like the issue of homosexuality (and I will add transgenderism to that) has gotten picked on by Protestant Christians. We are far too quick to speak out against groups like them and far too slow to speak out against other sins and issues. There have been way too many unloving remarks and social media comments about those who are gay. So the first thing I would encourage all of us to do is to look for the plank that is in our own eye before we start trying to address other people’s issues. We are ALL created in the image of God. All of us deserve to be treated with dignity, respect, and love.
With that out of the way, let me answer the question, which will echo what John Piper says in his podcast.
1) I will call transgenders by the name they request.
A name is a name. There is nothing special or significant about what a person is called. It is fluid. In middle school I knew someone named Becki who later on asked to be called by her full name, Rebecca. My wife goes by her middle name, Caroline. Two of my adopted children have had their names legally changed. Again, a name is just a name. It’s a title. So if anyone, transgenders included, has decided to change their name, then I will call them what they ask to be called.
2) I will use the biological pronoun.
The pronoun is different. It is not simply a name, which can be fluid. Pronouns point to the essence of who God created them to be. So for me to change a pronoun based on who they want to be would be to go against my belief that God made someone male or female.
I will do this in love and respect. I will likely avoid trying to say the pronoun in front of the person so as to not make a big issue out of it. I will try to not make a pronoun a stumbling block that will prevent further conversation about God, religion, or identity. However, when it comes down to it, I will lovingly not change the pronoun based on preference.
There are times when I will not even know what the original gender is. Heck, even with heterosexual, non-transgender folks, there are times when I am not even sure if they are male or female. I have certainly been guilty of thinking someone was a male who was actually a female (or vice versa). So there are times I use the incorrect pronoun about the person. But once I know the correct one, that is the one I use.
There is also a very small group of people who are born without any distinguishable anatomy. These are far from the norm. These situations would require further conversation and thought and is not group I am thinking about when writing this blog.
A lot more could be said, but this is where I am at right now.
If you have a question you would to ask the pastor, send it to [email protected].